Haasta la Vista...

Right now, I just want to melt. I want to let my bones turn to butter and simply melt to the floor. I barely even want to be writing right now.

I haven't talked about my education in this blog much. Most of the posts about Cal are about my telling off solicitors on Sproul. But rest assured, I am actually enrolled here. And, as of today, a big decision was made for me.

For the past week or so, I've been waiting in anticipation for the Haas School of Business to release it's admissions decisions. (I know what some of you are thinking: "Business? With that goatee?") The general acceptance rate to the school is about 50 - 60%, so it was never really a sure bet that I'd get in when I applied last...November, I think? I did well enough in my classes, and I think I wrote some pretty good essays, but you never know exactly what they're looking for. I'd like to think that my job as an RA helped me a little. Maybe it did...maybe.

Now, I was pretty confident when I first turned in my application that I would be accepted. I mean, why wouldn't I be? However, starting around two days ago, I became a lot less sure of myself. I was originally "positive" that I'd be reassigned to Clark Kerr, and look how that turned out. I realized that there was just as good a chance that they didn't care for my essays, or didn't think my grades were so hot. There was a chance I'd get the all-too-sterile form letter:

Dear Mr. Schnorr,
We'd like to thank you for your interest in pursuing an undergraduate degree at Haas. This year, as any year, there were simply too many qualified applicants to accept. We regret to inform you that we do not have room for you at Haas. Go Bears!

It was a sobering thought. And I became even more sober at 11:50 last night. I didn't know if they announced the decisions at midnight, but it wouldn't hurt to check. So, once the clock shifted to the new day, I quickly raced onto the Haas website to find...nothing. I think I checked three more times before going to bed an hour later.

When I woke up, I checked again. Still nothing. Maybe I'm not looking in the right places. So, I tried looking in the places I thought the decisions wouldn't be. And you know what? They weren't there.

I then decided just to use the campus network whenever I had a break. So, after my first class (and lunch) I used the computers in Evans Hall, in all their cheapery. That's when I saw the link:
"Admission Decisions are now available on-line here." I braced myself and clicked on the link. I was then prompted to enter my SID. I clicked on the button and saw the following:

"Thank you for applying to the Haas School of Business. Admission decisions will be posted on March 14th."

.....That wasn't what I was hoping for. But I tried to reason it away; "They're probably just putting them up one at a time, and haven't put mine up yet." However, the more I thought about it, the more worried I became. What if I had made a mistake on my application and wasn't getting a response at all? No, no, I did everything correctly. Nothing to worry about. Nothing...right?

So, I tried back at the end of my next class. I tried to sign in and..."Syntax Error? What the hell?" Yes, some computer in the Haas system vomited Linux all over my screen. I tried several more times, with the same result. No help there. I decided to go straight to the horse's mouth, so I walked up to the Haas Undergraduate adviser office. They told me that something had gone completely janky, and they were "hoping" to have it done by 5pm. So, I went on with my life until I got back to my room around 5:30 or so. First thing I did once I got there? Signed onto the Haas website.

"Haas," I said, "My nerves are shot, and it's your fault. This must be your idea of a cruel initiation ritual...hopefully initiation."

Once more I typed in my SID and clicked "Submit." I then closed my eyes and said a small prayer. In that prayer I thanked God for all the opportunities He has given me, all the doors He has held His foot in for me. No matter what happened, I deserved what I got, and was happy for the chance to be a part of it. I thanked Him for this, for that, for everything.

I then opened my eyes.

"Congratulations Andrew Schnorr!"

I didn't read any more. I just covered my face and began...well, I guess it could best be described as a cough or a grunt, somewhere between laughter and crying.

I'm in.