This Title is a Complete Non-Sequitor!!!

I have to be off to bed early tonight, as I have to get up early tomorrow to give tours to all the lovely folks who come in for Cal Day to see the Res Halls.

...And I have to answer those parents' questions. *Shudder*

Them: "Isn't Clark Kerr really far from campus?"
Me: "Well, it's a little less than a mile to get to Sproul Plaza, and can take you 10 to 20 minutes, depending on how fast you walk. But it's good for you."
My Mind: "Didn't you come here from campus? Is your puerile mind so dense you can't remember how far it was?!"

Them: "How do I know my child will be eating healthy in the cafeteria?"
Me: "Our dining commons serve a large variety of foods, but we do try to keep the food as healthy as possible. We also have the nation's most extensive organic food program."
My Mind: "Listen, Chubby McCheese, if you would have taught your kids good eating habits to begin with, you wouldn't need to ask that question!"

Them: "This place seems a lot nicer than the rest? Do you think it's bad for the students to be living in such luxury while others aren't?"
Me: "Well, while it may seem nicer in comparison to some of the other units, it's still a residence hall, not a hotel or spa. The University doesn't want people so spoiled that they won't do their work! But I wouldn't say there's any real inequality between units."
My Mind: "That question sounds like commie talk to me, you proletariat punk!"

But I think the most I've ever been annoyed with a parent's question was last year, when I was but a humble resident whose room was part of the tour. To make the most of the time we had to stay in the room, my roommate Kris and I were simply sitting and getting some work done. Then come in the parents.

One of Them: "Are you really doing work, or is this just some show you're putting on for us to make you college boys look good?"
Another One of Them: "And is your room always this clean, or did the RA's make you clean up your mess?"
Us: "Uh, no, it's pretty much always like this."
Our Collective Minds: "You bastards! You dare question our integrity and our cleanliness?! We will @^$)&#* END you!!!"

And I learned about 11 months afterward that we were supposed to get gift certificates to Yogurt Park for doing that. Bah!

So anyway, wish me luck with that...nonsense.

Oh! In the meantime, I have a riddle for everyone! (Yay!) What's different about this riddle is that I actually made it up, which is really awesome because although I looooove riddles (and if you do too, here's a great place to find them), I've never thought up one myself. So, anyway, here goes:

"I am a simple character, but if you place me in the middle of a battle, I transform it from a match of brains to one of brawn."

Yes, it is a little tricky, but it still works (though I'm sure the answer will have a bit of contention). I'll post the answer later. Put your guesses in the comments!

Toodles!