Comic-Con 2007!!! (Part 3 - Lotsa Cosplay)

Welcome back to the program! It's been a while since we've looked at Comic-Con pictures. In our last episode, I was getting beat up six ways from Sunday. There's considerably less violence in this particular post (at least towards me), but no shortage of people, both fit and fat, dressed up as a variety of characters. Let's get right to it, shall we?

So, here we have a Filipino Bat Girl, a shabby looking Riddler, a guy with a TV for a head, one of the weirder renditions of Mr. Freeze I've seen (yes, that blue guy is supposed to be Mr. Freeze; no, I don't know why he looks like some cheesy wrestler), some random robot characters, and a girl in a spiky purple mask. Do you remember where we are? That's right, we're back in San Diego.

This one turned out surprisingly well. Maybe its just their costumes, I don't know. What I do know is that I would have preferred if that emo dude in the center would have stepped aside and allowed me to take the center position.

Okay, this one turned out even better than that last one. In fact, I think you could turn this into some sort of TV Show poster. In fact, here's an example of of what one such poster would look like. I guess in that show, I would be the thick-headed but lovable tough guy who never gets the girl, 'cause they're all being taken by the shirtless guy behind me.

This could have been a great shot, recreating the most famous scene from 300 (well, sans the techno music present in that video). However...
Me: "In this picture, I'd like you to kick me."
Spartan: "I'm not going to kick you. I may hurt you."
Me: "I don't mean actually kicking me; I mean just posing."
Spartan: "I still may hurt you."
Me: ".....Whatever. Let's just do this."

And with that, you have the single greatest lost opportunity at the show.

Imagine, if you will, that this is not some guy in a costume, but a real, honest-to-goodness alien (er, excuse me, predator) walking amongst a bunch of workaday humans...holding the skull and spinal column of one of their brethren. What would you do? Well, if you're the guy on the right, then you try to play it cool and hope he thinks you're one of his home-boys. If you're the lady(?) on the left, however, you put on a completely creepy expression and hope that scares him away.

No idea who or what this guy is supposed to be. It says "The Red Star" right under him, so chances are he may be a dirty commie rat...one with really long eyebrows, at that. Lousy commies, think they own the place.

Ah, the LEGO booth, always good for a statue or two of some already popular character. Nevermind trying to come up with something original, LEGO. You haven't done that for five years. Now it's all Harry Potter and Spider-Man. Selling out! Selling out! You're whoring your products now! "Who's popular? They're popular! Let's make LEGO models of them and become rich." No creativity anymore! No creativi-

*Flit*

What's this, in my neck...some kind of...dart....hfur tgywatrg hgk.nnnnnnnnnn

LEGO® is good. LEGO® can do no wrong. The creators of LEGO® products consistently rate amongst the entertainment industry's most creative, attractive, and eligible bachelors. Purchase LEGO® products. End transmission.

Huh, what? Oh, sorry, I blacked out for a second there. But I'm cool; everything seems to be in order (although there's a rather conspicuous scar where my kidney should be). So, here we have what may look to be some guy in a costume. Or so you'd think. You were thinking that, weren't you? Well, if you were thinking that, you'd be wrong. This is actually a statue. A well-made statue, but a statue nonetheless. It's of some crazy British scientist-explorer-dude firing a pseudo-futuristic ray gun while smoking a pipe. Now, personally, I wouldn't have a pipe in my mouth while firing a gun (I may swallow it), but the British are some crazy people, donchaknow.

...And what's that on his leg?

Why it's a buxom female, wearing clothing that may be inspired by the 19th Century, but if she actually tried to wear it in public, she'd get hauled off by one of those beach fashion policemen.

...And why does it look like they're on the bottom of the ocean? I don't know, ask England.

Speaking of the bottom of the ocean, here we have a wonderful Davey Jones costume. Now, you'll notice that he doesn't have the peg leg that Davey Jones has, but since he was walking with a limp regardless, I'll forgive him for that small offense. He seemed to be quite popular with anyone who had a camera. Literally, he was being stopped for a picture every 10 feet. This almost makes me wonder how much enjoyment people can get when they're always being stopped from going where they want to go. I don't know, maybe there's a different mindset that cosplayers have. I only know that I'd be able to do it one day, and one day alone. The rest of the time, I want to be the one taking the pictures.
Ah, yes, the LEGO Batman. It looks exactly the same as it did last year. It almost makes me wonder if the designers never take apart these elaborate creations once their made. Put some glue betwixt the pieces, and it becomes an honest-to-goodness statue. A lot more efficient than rebuilding it every year, I can tell you that.

I realize this ain't a great shot. I think there's a better one later on...

Ah, nothing makes me happier about our future when the military force is a bunch of overweight dudes in vinyl costumes. The Future would be able to kick all of their asses, that's for sure. And he'd only use a knife and baseball bat.

Whoop, what'd I say about Stormtroopers being everywhere? Take a shot!

You know, with those goggles, I think that kid would have made a better Riddick than...whatever the hell he was supposed to be. And why are there suits in this picture? This is like some sort of mash-up of Final Fantasy and Law and Order here.

..........Damn, that's a lot of belts. Seriously, who needs that many belts. I wear one belt. Sometimes I have an onion on it (as is the style at the time), but still, just one. Most people where one belt. Maybe they wear a belt that looks like two belts, but that's still one belt. Not this girl. She wears one, two....eighteen belts, by my count! And none of them are even holding up her pants. Whatsamatter with this girl? There should be a law that you can't wear more belts than there are years in your life. No, there should be a law that you shouldn't wear more than one belt. Crazy kids, think they can wear anything they want nowadays.

[/Old Man Rant]

Normally, I would have just deleted this picture, but I wanted to put it here to demonstrate one thing that infuriates me about con-goers. Me, when I go to a convention, I make sure I don't step in the ways of people's cameras. They're pretty easy to spot. People holding camera's are usually standing still, facing something interesting, and have their arms awkwardly close to their chest or face. Oh, yeah, and they're holding a camera. So, when I see someone taking a picture, I stop moving, or I duck under, or go around. Something so as not to distract or ruin their picture.

But a lot of people, they're not as considerate as I am. No, they don't make any attempt to stop for the good of someone else's picture. "To hell with 'em," they say. This is a perfect example. The intended subject of this photograph was an attractive female (possibly one of the most attractive females at the convention) wearing some sort of costume. So, as I'm standing there, with a camera clearly in my hands, this fat nerd punk walks by and not only steps in my way, but bumps into my elbow with his backpack, knocking down the camera.

*FLASH!*

The camera took the picture. I looked down to see what I got, and it wasn't good. By the time I realized the situation, the female had walked away and out of sight. So this is what I was left with. A little torso (nice torso, regardless) and a lot of some jerk's backpack.

Let this be a lesson to the lot of you: when someone is taking a picture, be courteous. And if you're the one wearing this backpack, you've earned an enemy for life...your life!

This picture is kind of a complement to one that I took last year. Of course, this one isn't of me. Still, it shows the other side of conventions, what I poetically call "Tired Dude Syndrome." People affected by this syndrome tend to look for corners, far away from the hustle and bustle of people everywhere. Once the victims find these quiet spots, they sit down and get off their feet. Sometimes, they will even take off their shoes and wiggle their toes a bit. They will use this time to read one of the convention programs, or perhaps (as pictured) call a loved one, letting them know of their condition. While Tired Dude Syndrome can be a demoralizing condition, prognosis is usually fairly good, and most are cured within 10 minutes. Unless it's the end of the day. Then you're screwed.

Ah, and I almost forgot to mention, the old, useless actors who were present at the convention. Elvira and Lou Ferrigno, just to name a couple. They would stand sit at their booths, allowing people to take pictures with them for $20 to $50. No exceptions. And apparently, Lou Ferrigno was a real jerk about it (I didn't talk to him, but I talked to someone who talked to him).

I almost took a picture with LeVar Burton, until I realized that it would cost $50 and wouldn't be until the next day. "No way," I said, "I have better things to spend fifty bucks on!" I immediately went to the booth next door and spent $50 on practice swords. Maybe if it was Jonathan Frakes or Patrick Stewart, I would have spent the money, but LeVar's face just doesn't merit $50. $30, maybe, but not $50.

In any event, I got pictures of Elvira, and I didn't pay a cent. Why? Because I didn't step in line. How's that for a bargain? By the way, it's amazing how normal the woman looks without make-up, a wig, and breast implants.

Not sure what this guy was supposed to be, but my god does that apple look good!

I probably should have used the flash with this picture, because I really lost a lot of what was really a high-quality mask. This girl was going as a video game villain called Pyramid Head. It really did look well-made, despite the non-matching clothes.

Oh, and around this time (actually, shortly before, when I was buying nachos [the only good deal at the convention, as far as food went; $4 for nachos that took ten minutes to eat is much better than $3 for a hot dog that takes two minutes to eat]), someone put his hand on my shoulder to move me aside, saying "Pardon me, son," as he did. I moved aside and let the old man pass, only a second later realizing that there was a huge crowd following him. It was Stan Lee! I got ready to take a picture, but he and his entourage were already far enough away that it would just look weird. So, I didn't get his signature like I did last year, nor did I even get a picture, but I did get moved aside by him. And I was happy it was by him and not by one of his guard-escort cronies.

Bad photography, or Jedi mind tricks? You decide!

Ah, yes, another one of these. I told you, when you're on that escalator, there's not much else to take a picture of. But I still think this is the last one, so take a good, long look at it.

Ah, and here's Lord Sauron, saying "Good Day," to this particular batch of pictures. I hope you've enjoyed what them. At the moment, we're approximately halfway done with the pictures (only halfway? Good God!).

See you next time!